Mistakes
by SuicidalPony1234
Summary: Pony and Johnny were walking home from school, when all of a sudden they get jumped by Socs. Johnny's injuries were life threatening, but when pony makes a mistake, it changes everything. (COMPLETE)
1. Chapter 1: how it all began

**The mistake- chapter 1**

 **HEY GUYSSSSS! I've been kinda obsessed with reading fanfictions about Ponyboy being ignored, sooooo I decided to write my own like that! They usually all end the same but I want this one to be different. Hope you guys enjoy! Please review! It's greatly appreciated!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE OUTSIDERS. Sadly. ;(**

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OoOoOo

(Pony's POV)

"Oh hey, Johnny!" I greeted as he walked towards me in the cafeteria.

"Hey Pony, I uh, I need your help with my uh- homework…" He said quietly.

"Sure. What's it on?" I asked. Johnny usually asked me to help him, so I wasn't very surprised.

"Chemistry. I can't memorize these. I just don't get it, when will we ever need to know about chemistry in life?" Johnny said sounding annoyed.

"I don't know man, but yeah. Just walk home with me after school to my house."

After school ended, I waited for Johnny outside of the school. He was taking longer than usual which was odd, but I didn't pay much attention too it. As Socs walked past me in front of the school they kept calling me "Greaser!" And threw papers. It didn't feel too good to be bullied by the rich kids and not have anyone there to do anything about it, but what can you do? That's the life of a greaser. You better get used to it, or be tormented for being a crybaby by everyone in school.

Eventually Johnny did show up. He had a hint of anger in his eyes, which was very strange considering the fact Johnny was never angry.

"Hey, you ok Johnny?" I asked in a concerned voice.

"I'm fine Pony. Let's just not talk about this." Johnny replied in a soft voice.

We walked home in silence, looking at our feet as we went down the streets. Suddenly a red mustang was on our tail following us slowly. Before we knew it, they got out of the mustang and surrounded us.

"Hey greasers!" The dark brown haired Soc said. "You need a haircut?" He asked in a monotone voice walking closer to us, with an evil smirk on his face. All of the Socs then pulled out their blades, which scared the crap out of Johnny and I. We couldn't show them we were afraid, we had to act tuff. So we just stared at them with a blank expression on our faces.

"Not ganna say anythin'? Fine. I'll make you scream instead." The doc said as he lunged towards Johnny.

Everything that happened next seemed to be in slow motion. The Soc lunged at Johnny with is switch blade in hand. He grabbed Johnny 's wrist tightly and before I could do anything, he stabbed Johnny with the switch blade right into the center of his chest. Johnny then fell to the ground with a blood curdling scream escaping his lips.

"JOHNNY!" I screamed. I've never been so angry in my life. I lunged at that soc, beating him up so badly that I think I heard his ribs break.

"Let's get out of here!" One of them yelled.

They all ran into the mustang and drove off in seconds.

My attention then went straight to Johnny. He was laying real still on the ground. He was breathing though, which was a good thing. I knew we weren't too far from the house so I knew we could make it.

"C'mon Johnny, we gatta get you too the house!" I yelled panicky. "Johnny! I need you to open your eyes!"

He opened his eyes slightly, which was good enough for me. "Ok Johnny I'm going to carry you to our house." I said. I was pretty small, and I knew I would need a little help carrying Johnny.

"I'm going to need you to help me ok?" Johnny nodded ever so slightly.

I helped Johnny stand up, he howled in pain several we got him up I basically carried him the whole way to the house. Once we got to the house, Johnny passed out. Panicking, I called Soda at the DX.

"Hello, how can I help you?" Steve said from the other line.

"STEVE GET SODA ON THE PHONE, NOW! IT'S PONYBOY, TELL HIM IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" I screamed through the phone.

"Are you fucking kiding m- you know what, fine. This better not be a joke." Steve replied angrily.

"Ponyboy?" Soda said through the phone.

"Soda, some Socs jumped us and stabbed Johnny! He just fainted and I don't know what to do!"

"WHAT!? Ok, call 911 and I'll be there in 5 minutes."

"Ok…"

I hung up the phone and dialed 911, my hands shaking profusely. I told the operator everything, and they told me to apply pressure to the wound. I did as I was told until someone burst through the door, making me jump. It was Soda.

"Oh, god. Pony, did you call 911!?" He yelled.

"Y-yeah I did, uh… they said they'd be here soon and to apply pressure to the wound.." I said, my voice shaking with fear.

Moments later the ambulance pulled up, banging on our door. Sodapop opened the door to let them in. The EMT's first checked for a pulse on Johnny, which there was but it was weak. I felt so useless and guilty just watching him instead of helping. But what could I do?

The EMT's then loaded Johnny onto the ambulance and drove away, siren blaring in the distance.

"PONY CALL EVERYONE AND TELL THEM TO MEET AT THE HOSPITAL NOW." Soda yelled as he ran out the door. I got down to business as soon as he stepped foot out of the house. I first called Dally, and told him to round up the gang to meet at the hospital.

After I was done calling Dally I hung up the phone and sprinted towards the hospital. I ran faster than I ever had before, I wasn't running for myself. I was running for Johnny.

OoOoOo

(3rd Person POV)

"Shit! _DANG IT_ Johnny!" Dally yelled as he hung up the phone. He proceeded to call Steve, then Twobit, and last Darry.

Dally ran to the hospital, and bumped into Steve on the way there so they sprinted the rest of the way there together.

At the hospital, they saw Pony and Soda sitting in the waiting room. Dally immediately ran up to Pony and pulled him up by the collar of his shirt.

"What the fuck happened to Johnny, Ponyboy? Tell me right now or I'll beat your head in!" He screamed, eyes full of rage.

"W-we were wal-walking home from school and s-some soc-cs came up to us with switch blades a-an-and stabbed him!" Ponyboy said with tears in his eyes. He'd never seen Dally so mad in his whole life.

"FUCKIN' Socs." Dallas said under his breath. He proceeded to throw Ponyboy back in his seat, not really paying much mind to the fact that Pony hit his head on the wall as he threw him down into the chair. Ponyboy wimpered which only got Dally even more upset.

"Shut up, Ponyboy! You think that hurt!? Imagine how much pain Johnny's in right now."

"I'm sorry Dally…" Pony said quietly as he held his head.

A few minutes later the rest of the gang came in the waiting room. Again, Pony repeated what happened to Johnny, they all had anger in their eyes.

The gang waited there for hours without any information on Johnny, until a doctor finally appears in the waiting room.

"Family of Jonathan Cade?" She asked.

The gang all stood up and walked towards the doctor.

"You're his family…?" She asked hesitantly.

"We're the most family he's got, so please how is he?" Dally asked. Everyone was shocked. Dally never said please. Nobody said anything though, he was already in a bad mood.

"Ok well when he was stabbed, the knife was removed which was bad because it increased the amount of blood loss. The knife when he was stabbed cut so deep that it reached his heart which we had to give his surgery for. Plus a few broken ribs, shock, and exhaustion." She said. "In his room we have him hooked up to a breathing tube and an IV to give him medicine he needs. No removing the IV for any reason, if it's removed it could be life threatening." She concluded.

The gang was silent for a little bit until Sodapop asked, "Can we see him now?"

"Yes, he's in room 306. 3rd floor, and then take a right down the long hallway." She said looking up from her clipboard with a bored expression on her face.

The gang headed to Johnny's room and walked in. Johnny looked awful. His face was pale as a ghost and he looked dead. Everyone seemed to notice this but kept quiet. They were sure to steer clear of all the tubes around him as they approached the bed.

"Oh god…" Steve said under his breath, taking off his DX cap and rubbing his head. The rest of them just stared. Ponyboy didn't think he could look at Johnny any more so he started to walk away slowly. He didn't look where he was going and tripped over Johnny's IV tube, which then broke apart. Suddenly the heart monitor started beeping like crazy and everyone started to panic and pressed the help bottom to get a doctor.

Suddenly a bunch of doctors and nurses ran into the room shooing the gang out so they could go their work. The second they got out into the hallway, Dally punch ponyboy in the face so hard he heard a crack.

"OWWWW!" Ponyboy screamed as he held his mouth.

"YOU FUCKING ASS HOLE! LOOK WHAT YOU DID YOU COULD OF JUST KILLED JOHNNY, AND WHO KNOWS MAYBE YOU DID! DARRY'S RIGHT, YOU NEVER USE YOUR FUCKING HEAD AND IT CAN COST US JOHNNY'S LIFE!" Dally screamed as he punched Ponyboy again, this time in the stomach. Ponyboy bent over clutching his stomach.

"YOU DESERVE EVERY OUNCE OF PAIN YOU GET AND I HOPE YOU FUCKING DIE!" Dally screamed. He was livid. He proceeded to grab Pony and throw him into the wall, and then kick him 2 more times on his ribs.

Everyone else just watched as Dally beat up Ponyboy, glaring at pony as he covered his head with his arms in a pathetic attempt to protect it. Once Dally was done. Pony was sobbing harshly. He couldn't believe that nobody even tried to stop him.

"I-I'm so sorry! It was an accident! I-" pony was interrupted.

"Accident my ass! This is all your fault!" Steve screamed as he shoved Pony.

"Pony you can walk home yourself. We don't hang out with dip-shits like you." Surprisingly this came from Soda. Ponyboy couldn't believe that this was happening. Now Soda hates him?

"What have I done…"Ponyboy thought before looking up and watching the gang walk out without him. "Why don't I ever use my head…."

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 **Hope you liked the first chapter! Please review and tell me how it is so far! Hope you guys have a great day!**


	2. Chapter 2- only the beggining

Chapter 2: Only the beginning.

 **The Night Ninja: THANKS SOOO MUCH FOR THE SUGGESTION! I really appreciate it and that's a pretty good idea! I'll keep that in mind! If I do use your suggestion I will be sure to give you credit!**

 **Also thank you to everyone else who reviewed my story! The reviews made my day! They also motivated me to write my stories, so thank you sooo much! I love you guys!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own the outsiders. Also there's cussing…if you couldn't tell from the first chapter….. *cough***

 **A/N: Please excuse any typos. I'm sorry about that.**

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(3rd person POV)

Pony slowly got up and limped home. It was absolute agony every time he took a step. A couple times he let out a holler of pain, but what's that ganna do ya?

It took about 4 hours for Ponyboy to get to his house. He knew that Once he stepped foot inside of the house that Darry was ganna have a fit. Not like he could sit outside all day. The longer he waited the more upset Darry'd be. Pony just assumed Darry would let him go to bed because of his bad condition, but as soon as he stepped foot inside he knew he was mistaken.

OoOoOo

(2 hours earlier)

" If that boy doesn't hurry up and get home I oughta slug 'im." Darry said angrily.

"Please do. Maybe it'll make him use his head more." Steve snorted.

"Umhm." Dally nodded slowly.

"You guys think we were a little hard on him…?" Soda asked with worry in his voice as he kept glancing at the door.

"He almost killed Johnny. He deserves what he got." Dally yelled slamming his fist onto the table.

TwoBit was oddly quiet during this whole conversation.

"Aye Two? Why you so quiet?" Steve asked as he playfully punched him.

"Oh sorry, just zoned out there." Twobit said as he wiped his hand over his face.

"Oh no, you're turning into Pony! That's not a good thing man…" Steve said, chuckling.

"Hah. Trust me, I know. Johnny's my buddy and he was an idiot to trip over a fucking IV the doctor WARNED us about." Twobit said in an angry voice while rolling his eyes. "Hell, even I, Twobit Matthews knew not to do that."

"Never seen ya this angry Twobit." Darry says as he took his news paper and sat down on the couch.

"Never had a reason to be this angry before. Kid needs to start using his head or it will get someone killed."

OoOoOo

(1 hour earlier)

"Ok where the fuck is he. This is ridiculous. When he shows up I'm going to beat the living tar out of him." Darry grumbles. Steam was practically coming out of his ears.

"Don't worry Dar, kids probably hanging out with Joh-" Twobit caught what he was about to say before it came out. "Oh wait, never mind. Johnny's in the hospital. FoRGoT." Twobit said clenching his fists so tight that his knuckles were turning white.

"Well I don't really care where he is so might as well just go to sleep." Steve muttered.

"Count me in." Dally yawned.

"Ditto." Twobit said, walking over to the other couch.

"Aye Dar, imma go to sleep too. Also once he gets home tell him to sleep in his own room." Soda said.

"M'kay little buddy. You go get some sleep." Darry replied

"Night Dar!"

OoOoOo

(Present)

"Fucking hell, where are you ponyboy?" Darry thought to himself.

Moments later the door opened and in walked pony.

"WHERE ON THE FUCKING EARTH HAVE YOU BEEN!? I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE FOR MANY HOURS WAITING FOR YOU!" Darry yelled so loudly the whole neighborhood could probably hear.

"I- I was walking home f-from the h-o-ospital." Pony replied wincing almost after every word.

"That's no damn excuse! The hospital is only a mile and a half away and it doesn't take 4 HOURS to walk that distance! Quit lying and tell me where you've been!" Darry said walking closer to pony.

"I'm no-not lying Darry! It hurt too much to walk here so I had to take break- br-breaks! I think my leg is-"

"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR EXCUSES! I'M SICK AND TIRED OF YOU ALWAYS LYING!" Darry yelled.

"Darry l-listen to me! I-I'm telling the trut-h!" At the moment Pony realized the whole gang was awake and glaring at him, including soda.

"Cut that shit out Ponyboy, if you weren't Soda and Darry's brother I would murder you right now." Dally said in a low, threatening voice.

"Why are you guys acting like this!? I-I did nothing wrong!" Pony was on the verge of crying at this point.

"Oh trust me, no brother of mine will talk back to me!" Darry said glaring at ponyboy harshly.

"He's not my brother. That's an insult." Soda glared.

At that moment Ponyboy's heart broke into a million pieces.

"WHAT D-DID I DO T-TO DESERVE THIS TREATMENT FROM YOU GUYS!? IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I DIDN'T MEAN TO AND THEN YOU GUYS JUST DECIDE TO TREAT ME LIKE SHIT!?" Ponyboy screamed on the top of his lungs, tears streaming down his face.

All of a sudden pony felt his leg snap and he yelled in pain as he fell the the floor.

"That's what you get you brat!" Steve yelled in Pony's face.

Pony couldn't stop sobbing. The gang just stared at him with a smirk on their faces. They seemed to be enjoying the fact Ponyboy was in pain.

After a while Pony tried to stand up, but quickly fell back to the ground hitting a lamp on the way.

"That's it!" Darry screamed. He then pulled his fist back and made it come full force at Pony's jaw.

Pony screamed like he's never screamed before. The pain he was feeling was un bearable. Eventually his body couldn't take it either so he blacked out on the floor.

"Night everyone!" Darry announced to the gang. Darry proceeded to kick Pony's unconscious body one more time before walking off too his room.

Once Pony woke up from his unconscious state a wave of pain went over him. He held in a yelp in fear of waking someone from the gang up. He needed to get to his room but he was in so much pain he could barley move. He started to grip the carpet tightly and pull himself towards his room with all the strength he had left in him. The end result was a horrible rug burn on his stomach but at least he got to his room.

He started to cry and eventually fell asleep. Sleep was the only way to escape the painful reality of his mistakes. But it wasn't a way to escape his fears. Nightmares, you can't escape them from going to sleep. But what if when you wake up, the nightmare still continues?

 **HEEEEY thanks for reading! I know this chapter really sucks but it was 5 A.M. and I'm trying to get as many chapters as I can out before I go to my fine arts camp that starts next week. And it lasts for 2 weeks so I'm trying. Sorry if u don't like it…. love you guys! Bye! ;)**


	3. Chapter 3- Nightmare

Chapter 3: Nightmares

 **Helloooooo guys. I'm going to be trying to post a new chapter everyday before I go to camp but if I don't post one of these days I'm sorry. Anyways thanks so much for the reviews and I hope you enjoy!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I don't own the outsiders, still ;(**

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 _OoOoOo_

 _(Pony's POV)_

 _I woke up in a weird place. It was completely dark, nothing was there. It was also completely silent. I had a feeling someone was watching me, but I couldn't tell because everything was dark._

 _Suddenly everything turned white and Johnny was standing in front of me. He had the angry look in his eyes, and a smirk on his face. It was weird because Johnny never wore that expression before._

 _"Johnny…? Is that you?"_

 _Silence._

 _"Johnny….?" I asked cautiously as I started to walk towards him._

 _Silence._

 _"Johnny where a-"_

 _"It's. All. Your. Fault." Johnny said. His smirk changing to a frown. His eyes filled even more with anger._

 _"What's my fault?"_

 _"You killed me. You killed me and you didn't even care." He hissed. "You know pony, murder is a crime…" he whispered in my ear._

 _"Stop it! I did not kill you! I did nothing wrong!" I screamed._

 _"You don't think murder is wrong? Hah, remember that IV…" He then he stopped moving._

 _Suddenly he disappeared and I heard his voice. It echoed from all directions._

 _"You killed me Pony…" The echos said. Did I actually kill Johnny? Did he actually die? What will the gang say? They will kill me!_

 _"I-I'm so sorry Johnny!"I cried. Then all the echos stopped. Next thing I knew he was right next to me which startled me so I jumped a little._

 _"Sorry won't cut it this time Pony." Johnny whispered._

 _Chills began to creep up Ponyboy's spine. Johnny then started circling around me, a look of hatred in his eyes._

 _"I want you to feel the pain I felt." Johnny's voice didn't sound like his own. It sounded much deeper and more stern._

 _"I want you to die Ponyboy Michael Curtis. I want you to KILL yourself. I want you to suffer what I suffered. Even the gang agrees." Johnny's smirk once again appeared on his face. I didn't really know how to respond to what he just said, but strangely I sorta agreed with what he said. I killed him and I guess I do deserve to die._

 _Suddenly the gang appeared with angry looks on their faces. They all circled around me before I could do anything. I covered my face figuring that Dally was ganna hit me, but nothing happened. So I uncovered my face and looked at them._

 _"Guys w-what are you doing…?" Nobody answered me. They all just stared at me until Sodapop stepped forward. He looked like normal Soda, and I was so happy! I ran over to him to give him a big hug, and he hugged me back._

 _"Oh Soda, why is the gang being so mean to me? I didn't mean to kill Johnny, I really didn't!" I sobbed into his shoulder. Soda brought me closer to him holding me tighter._

 _Soda then leaned in, and whispered in my ear, " I want you to kill yourself Ponyboy." He said to me. I felt the blood in my face drain and my stomach dropped the second he said that. His loving embrace became suffocating, and his warm smile became an evil smirk. He then let go of me. I was terrified out of my mind. I didn't know how to react to this._

 _Suddenly Dally picked me up by my neck. He was strangling me and I couldn't breathe._

 _"You don't kill yourself, we will complete the job for you. Your choice Ponyboy."_

 _Then once again I heard the echos again. "You killed me Pony."_

 _"You don't kill yourself, we will complete the job for you." "I want you to kill yourself Ponyboy."_

 _It was becoming way too much for me to handle and I began screaming._

 _"Shut up! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!"_

 _OoOoOo_

(3rd person POV)

Ponyboy woke up screaming like there was no tomorrow. He was drenched in sweat and his breathing was coming out as gasps. He didn't know what to think at the moment, the dreamed just seemed so real to him.

While trying to catch his breath he thought about the nightmare. "Were they right? Does Johnny hate me? Does the gang really want me dead? If they did I honestly wouldn't be surprised. It's been less than 24 hours and they already beaten me up pretty badly. I'm pretty sure I have a broken jaw and leg…"

Ponyboy wasn't expecting Soda to come in and comfort him from his nightmares like he usually does, but it really hurt how he didn't. He needed someone right now more than ever, but nobody would help him.

OoOoOo

(Sodapop's POV)

I woke up from my sleep to screaming. I instantly knew it was pony. He had bad nightmares ever since our parents died and I usually helped him when he had one. But I think he deserved to get a taste of his own medicine. He made Johnny nearly die so one nightmare isn't even that bad. I mean don't get me wrong, he's my brother. Never mind, not anymore. I don't want a cluts as my brother. But I can't help but feel a little bad. But I can't let my feelings get the best of me.

He deserves it.

Every bit of it.

I don't care about him.

I hate him.

I hate you Ponyboy.

I keep saying that but why is it so hard to believe myself.

Soda you hate him.

 _Y_ ou don't love him.

I do hate him.

He almost killed Johnny.

Ignore him.

Just ignore him and you won't have to feel this way.

Ignore him.

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 **Hope you enjoyed! Be sure to review! Love you guys!**


	4. Chapter 4: Guilt at it's finest

**Hey guys… well I completely forgot about the math test I had to take today so it this is posted late I'm sorry. Anyways, hope you like this chapter! Please excuse and typos.**

 **OH WAIT! I forgot to say! So many people have been giving me suggestions on how the story should go, and I'm sorry if the story doesn't go how you want it to, I truly am. But I cannot use every suggestion. I'm sorry in advance!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the** **outsiders or any of the characters. ;(**

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(7 A.M. at the Curtis house)

"SODAPOP GET UP! YOU NEED TO GET READY FOR WORK!" Darry yelled from across the house. Soda only moaned as a response. Darry then walked into his room and yelled again.

"Sodapop Patrick Curtis if you don't get your butt up right now you're going to be late!"

"Fine Darry!" He then sat up and walked to the bathroom. Darry went to his room afterwards to get himself ready.

"Where's Ponyboy?" Twobit asked. "Cause I was thinkin', he can't really go to school for a while."

"I don't really care if he goes anyways. He can ruin his life, and maybe even end it and I wouldn't care." Dally huffed.

"Ok didn't ask that, but anyways. He can't go to school because the school will suspect abuse. Damn it the kid is so weak he couldn't even attempt to protect himself." Twobit chuckled.

"So? If he goes to school and looks abused he will be taken away from Darry. If he's taken away from Darry, he is out of the gang and isn't our responsibility. If he's not our responsibility we can beat him as much as we want to teach him a lesson." Dally replied.

"True… but they can't really take him away from Darry. Darry won't let them. I'm pretty sure Darry and soda will eventually forgive him and plus, their parents told Darry to take care of him." Steve replied biting his nails.

"Yeah so how will we get rid of him?" Twobit asked. "School's our of the picture, social services is not an option either."

"Well maybe if we, ya know, pick on him and "bully" him he might run away." Steve replied in a mischievous tone.

"Yeah, we could beat him up even more until he can't take it and he runs away." Twobit replies with a smirk.

"Guys, the thing is he could react to what we are doing in a different way than we think he will." Dally rolled his eyes.

"What do you mean…?" Steve asked.

"The kids sensitive, and he bottles up his feeling most of the time."

"Still don't see your point, Dal." Steve laughed with no amusement.

"What if he kills himself?" Dally concluded.

Everyone suddenly went silent. They all wouldn't mind is pony were to kill himself at the time, one less mouth to feed and one less responsibility. But ponyboy was not just a responsibility, he was a member of the gang. The baby of the gang. He was smart, kind, and sensitive. He was family. They knew that what he did was an accident but they were all way to angry with the fact that it happened to feel any sympathy towards ponyboy.

"What is it to you, Dally? Just a minute ago you said you wouldn't care if he were to kill himself." Twobit replied.

"Yeah, I know. I wouldn't care, but In like a week Soda and Darry would probably forgive the damn kid. If pony did kill himself, it would destroy them." Dally said in a monotone voice.

They all thought about what Dally just said for a little while.

"Guys…" Steve spoke up. "Wouldn't you feel at least a little guilty if anything were to happen to Ponyboy?"

Again, the silence came over them.

"I'm pretty sure we would all feel pretty bad if he were to run away or kill himself. I mean what he did was absolutely, I don't even know how to explain it in words." Steve paused and ran his hand through his hair. "But if anything were to happen to 'im, we would all be guilty. I don't think we should make him run away or kill himself anymore. I think we should just make his life a living hell for a little while until he learns his lesson." Steve finished and put his hand behind his head.

"Fine. Fine whatever. But I'm telling you right now, I don't care about the kid." Dally said.

"Umhm, k." Steve replied. "Ok well I'm off to work guys. Remember, _STICK_ to the plan. Lookin' at you Dally." Steve smirked playfully.

"HURRY THE HELL UP SODA OR IM LEAVING YOU HERE!" Steve yelled.

"ALRIGHT, I'm COMING!" Soda yelled from the bathroom.

A few moments later Soda emerged from the bathroom, uniform on and hair greased to perfection.

"Lemme just get my hat. I'll meet you in the car." Soda said. Steve walked out while Darry emerged from his room and walking out to his truck.

"Soda grab some toast it's on the counter!" Darry yelled from the doorway.

"M'Kay!"

OoOoOo

(Pony's POV)

I woke up again around 12:00 pm, so midday. I didn't hear anyone in the house, so I thought it would be ok to walk out of my room. I started to limp out of my room (which hurt like hell) and to the kitchen. Half way to the kitchen I realized I wasn't at the house alone.

Twobit and Dally were sitting on the couch seemingly staring at nothing.

They then turned my way as I fell the the ground in pain.

"About time you woke up ya piece of shit." Dally said glaring my direction.

"We've been waiting for your lazy ass to get up, so we can tell you that Johnny died in the hospital an hour ago." Twobit hissed. "You know who's fault it is? It's all yours! If you hadn't of been so damn stupid he would still be here with us!" Twobit eyes seemed to fill with rage as he stood up and walked closer and closer to to me. I didn't want him to keep yelling at me but did he actually die? Was my nightmare coming true?! Were they going to kill me!?

My thoughts were to much to handle so I put my hand over my ears and yelled.

"YOU LIAR! HE'S NOT DEAD! HE CAN'T BE! WE SAW HIM JUST YESTERDAY!" I cried. My cries turned into sobs.

"WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD OF THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE YOU TRIPPED!" Dally screamed.

I didn't want to talk because it hurt to much to open my mouth, but I was not ganna let them yell at me and accuse me of my friends death. Was it actually my fault though? Did I kill Johnny. I'm a murderer. What have I done?!

"I'm SO SORRY! I DIDN'T MEAN TO KILL JOHNNY! I REALLY DIDN'T MEAN TO!" I started sobbing the hardest I've ever sobbed before. But I deserved to cry. I deserved to feel sad. I killed my best friend. I'm a killer.

"Yeah, you should be. You killed your supposed best friend. What kind of sick freak would kill their best friend. He wasn't your friend. He didn't deserve to be your friend. You fucking sicko!" Twobit yelled.

I wanted to die right there. I knew it. I am a killer. But if I didn't kill myself they would kill me instead. I didn't want them to kill me just yet, I wasn't ready.

"PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!" I screamed as I made a pathetic attempt at crawling back to my room. Every time I move it hurt so bad my body would tense up. So I screamed in agony.

"Don't kill you? Hah, we will make you life a LIVING hell ponyboy. You'll feel what Johnny felt." After Dally finished he smiled an overly friendly smile towards me.

"Karmas a bitch." Dallys smile fell. "Hope you enjoy it Ponyboy."

I was scared out of my mind, so scared in fact that I felt like I couldn't breathe.

(Dally's POV)

The kid looked like he was beginning to suffocate. I didn't know what was happening. I was a little panicked because this was not how I planned this conversation to pan out. But I would never show any emotion besides anger on my face when I'm trying to act tuff.

(Twobit's POV)

The kid can't get air in his lungs. I think he's having a panick attack. This is not how I planned this to go. I don't think we should of told him Johnny died. Johnny only slipped into a coma, and the doctor called us to notify us about it. We just decided to tell him Johnny was dead to make him feel even worse. But this was worse than I intended to react. The kid looks like he's dying for Christ sake! I glance over at Dallas to see what he's thinking.

If you really know 'im, you could see the panic in his eyes.

He glances to look at me for a split second then back at the kid.

What did we get ourselves into.

(Back to Pony's POV)

I think I was having a panic attack. I couldn't get air onto my lungs and I started to sob. I can't believe I murdered Johnny. It was all my fault. IM A MURDERER. I AM A KILLER. A CRUEL, HEARTLESS ASSHOLE. I deserve to die. No, no I don't! Everyone deserves to live! Everyone! Including me, right? No! No I don't! I killed him. I KILLED HIM! I KI-

My thoughts were interrupted by black dots. Soon enough they covered my vision and everything went black.

(3rd person)

"Shit!" Dally yelled. He then knelt down by the kid to see if he was breathing. He was. Twobit and Dally then sighed in relief.

"You think we went to far by telling him Johnny's dead?" Dally asked.

"Maybe a little, bit it's fine. Now our job at making his life a living hell will be easier, I guess…" Twobit replied.

"Yeah, true" Dally shrugged.

They both knew that they felt bad for the kid. They knew it. But they had to act like they were mad at him to get the message threw. But what they didn't know was what was goin on through Ponyboy's head. Pony got the message already, and he felt awful guilty about "killing Johnny". Pony was drowning. Drowning in self hatred that the gang put on him.

"Imma bring the kid back to his room, maybe make him a sandwich and put it in a plate." Twobit said.

"Sure, once you're done let's go visit Johnny." Dally said to him.

"Alright man. Oh! And also, call the school and tell them Pony's sick. I think that might work as an excuse for his absence."

"K."

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 **Don't worry guys, the story will move along much faster in future chapters. I don't really like this chapter but it's necessary, so… HAVE A GREAT** **DAY I LOVE YOU GUYS SOOOO MUCH!** **BYEEEEEE.**


	5. Chapter 5: Only A Matter Of Time

Chapter 5: ignore the feelings

Hey guyyyys! I have been feeling a little down lately, and been struggling with some things so I don't think I will be able to update every day. Buuuut I will post chapters that are at least 1k words of more often! Hope you enjoy!

Credit to The Night Ninja for helping me out with some lines! She's been really helpful with my story and I hope you go check out some of her work too! Anyways I really appreciate the help!

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the outsiders (you can tell because Johnny and dally will always be alive in my stories)

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OoOoOo

(Pony's POV)

I woke up very confused. I didn't remember going back to my room. Didn't I go out of here to get food? I don't know. Probably just dreamed it.

I then sat up and looked around, still pretty dazed on what happened. I spotted a sandwich in my desk, which was odd. I wasn't allowed to eat in my room. "Probably too tired to eat it." I thought. Might as well eat it now, before it gets bad.

I took a bite and instantly knew something was off. This was a grilled cheese sandwich, I don't know how to make that.

Suddenly memories of what happened before rushed to my mind. Memories of Dallas and Twobit glaring at me, telling me Johnny was dead, yelling.

"ITS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Maybe you should of thought about that before you tripped!"

"Murderer."

Johnny's dead.

Johnny's dead.

Johnny's dead.

HE CANT BE DEAD!

I JUST SAW HIM!

This was way too overwhelming. I can't believe it, Johnny was actually dead and it was my fault. How could I have done this to him. He trusted me, he was my best friend! I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

I CANT HANDLE THESE EMOTIONS.

THIS IS TOO MUCH.

TOO MUCH.

I CANT TAKE IT!

I then screamed at the top of us lungs in anger, frustration, stress, sadness, despair, grief, and confusion.

This scream sounded like nothing I've ever heard before. As tears streamed down my face, I didn't know what to think. I was so mixed up in my emotions I couldn't think. I didn't know what to do. I wanted comfort. But who would comfort a murderer.

I wanted Soda's warm embrace. I wanted Darry's protection. I wanted the gang. I wanted someone. I NEEDED someone. Anyone. I don't care who, I needed someone, desperately. These emotions were getting to much for me to handle, and it's destroying me from the inside out.

I don't know how much longer I can take this.

I need you Mom.

I need you Dad.

Why did you have to leave.

Eventually, I cried myself to sleep.

OoOoOo

(Soda's POV)

It was 5 PM when I got home. Dally and Twobit came back to the house after visiting Johnny and 15 minutes after I had. They told me everything that had happened during the day with Pony. I honestly felt awful. I couldn't stand seeing Ponyboy like this much longer, I will break.

The thing is, I couldn't help ponyboy. When we were walking home from the hospital the day this all started, we told each other that we would make him learn his lesson. At the time we all thought it was the right thing to do, but now I'm not so sure. After the first day, the gang was about ready to lay off of him, they heard him scream from his nightmare and their hearts just about shattered. Even dally's.

But now what we are doing is getting so bad that Ponyboy is fainting. I don't think he can handle much more of this, neither can I.

Suddenly we all here a loud scream come from Ponyboy's room, followed by loud sobs. We all walk up to the door to see what's happening but it was closed. Dally Two it and I then listen to what's happening inside, just out of curiosity.

We heard Ponyboy sob and break things. He also started yelling "I CANT FUCKING TAKE IT!" Over and over again. My heart just about shattered into a million pieces at him screaming. I just wanted to run in and give him a big hug right then. He needed me and I wasn't there. I needed to help him before it was too late.

Dally, Twobit and I sat in silence in the living room after that. We didn't really know what to say. Ponyboy was breaking, physically, mentally, and emotionally. And it was all our faults. It's only been a day and a half and we've driven him so far that he's already having a break down.

"Guys we need to stop doing this. It's breaking him and it's tearing me apart." I said to them. They only looked up and nodded. We agreed to talk it over with the gang tomorrow to talk about if we should stop this.

But I was afraid. The damage had already been done. I don't think pony will ever want to see me or talk to me again after what I did to him.

Wait doesn't he still think Johnny's dead..?

SHIT!

Gosh dang it Twobit!

What am I going to do!?

OoOoOo

(2 hours later, 3rd person POV)

Darry got home around 7. He had went to go and visit Johnny after work. Everyone got a feeling he was in a good mood, because he seemed more laid back than usual. Which was perfect in their case because that means they could discuss the pony situation earlier. All they were missing was Steve, which wouldn't be a huge issue because whatever the final decision was is what he will do.

They all came to an agreement to tell ponyboy the truth at the end of the week. None of them truly knew what they have done to pony. All they thought was that he has fallen into a temporary depression, nothing too serious. They were absolutely clueless to what was going on through his mind.

A little time later Steve arrived, and they told him everything. He didn't seem to have a problem with it.

"Alright guys Imma head off to bed." Soda said, raising his arms above his head as he yawned.

"Night little buddy." Darry smiled at soda, soda nodded and went off to bed.

"I'm ganna stay here tonight Dar." Steve said. "Alright." Darry replied. They usually slept over at the Curtis's anyways, nothing new.

"Night everyone. Darry said. "Night Dar." Twobit and Steve replied as he walked to his room.

That night was a strange night for all of them, as they all went to sleep they all were seeing very disturbing images. They saw a silhouette of a small boy hanging from a rope by his neck. He looked around 12 or 13, though they couldn't see the face. They all saw it, but everyone just thought it was a nightmare. They didn't even know they all had the same nightmare, just different times in the night. It scared them. But that's what nightmares do, scare you.

OoOoOo

(Pony's POV)

I woke up and I was in a dark ally way. It was night time, and the only thing I could hear was the wind howling down the street. It was very strange. I must've been jumped to be lying in an ally, specially this time of night. I decided to try to get up, but I couldn't move. I also realized it felt like I wasn't breathing.

I started to panic, I tried to inhale and exhale but nothing happened. "Shit!" I thought. Suddenly, a dark figure appeared.

"You don't care about me, I'm dead now and it ALL YOUR FAULT" shouted the figure before cackling and circling Pony. Five switch blades appeared out of nowhere followed by a gun from the first shadow.

I was absolutely terrified. I couldn't scream or cry, I could do nothing. I was frozen. The only thing I could do was think.

. Five switch blades, without a warning entered my chest piercing my heart. The gun was to my head and Johnny's face appeared,

"You killed me pony, now it's time I return the favor" cackled Johnny. I couldn't say anything, my heart was shattered, I was bleeding badly, every bone in my body felt broke. The gun went off and I woke up. I screamed so loudly the whole neighborhood could probably hear me. I can't even express how scared I was. I felt alone, depressed, and guilty. I now know for a fact nobody wants to help me. I will never again receive the comfort from my brothers or the love from the gang. I will also never again feel happiness.

But how can I complain?

It's what I deserve.

"They don't love you pony" a voice said.

I wasn't scared of the voices anymore. They were right. They always were.

"Soon, very soon. You will join me pony…"

I guess it's only a matter of time.

OoOoOo

(3rd person POV)

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

The scream echoed throughout the house. It was haunting and it was something that could never be forgotten. It echoed in the gangs ears.

You could hear the heartbreak in it. You could hear the hurt and loneliness. It sounded as if it were a cry for help. But what's the point of crying out when there's nobody to save the day?

What's the point of happiness when there's nothing to be happy about?

What's the point of living when there's nobody who cares for you?

Thoughts…

Everyone has thoughts.

Not everyone thinks the same.

Not everyone can take the pain.

Thoughts…

Was thinking really a good thing?

Thoughts can hide your emotions real well…

Emotions…

Emotions, they are real sweet.

Love.

Joy.

Happiness….

But also…

Sadness..

Loneliness…

Guilt…

They can also destroy you from the Inside, out.

Until you can't take anymore….

Until sweet, sweet release.

"Oh how great that would be…" ponyboy thought.

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Wow that was dark. Anyways hope u guys enjoyed! Well now I'm ganna go eat some more diabetes in a can so have a nice day!

OK LET ME JUST SAY, I WANTED TO ITALISIZE THE DREAM BUT THIS FRICKEN WEBSITE WONT LET ME WOTHOUT GLITCHING. SO ALL I CAN SO IS CAPS. SO FRICKEN ANNOYING! Have a great day!


	6. Chapter 6: Delusional

**Don't really have anything to say accept this is the last chapter I post before I go to camp! I'll make it extra long! Next chapter will be in 2 weeks! Promise! Love u guys!**

 **DISCLAIMER: I. DO. NOT. OWN. THE. OUTSIDERS. );**

 **And like I said before, PLEASE. EXCUSE. THE. GRAMMAR. MISTAKES.**

 **I'm trying to get these chapters up as fast as possible before I leave for a while. I will correct spelling when I have TIMEE.**

 **Ok let's get into this story. (Sorry for seeming a bit rude)**

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OoOoOo

(Johnny's POV)

I could feel it. Ponyboy was hurt. Broken. I wanted to help him so badly. I wanted to hug him to make him feel better.

Pony and I are extremely close, so close in fact that we can have conversations without even using words.

Ever since we met, we've been extremely close.

I remember when he came up to me in the park one day. I was beaten real bad by my dad, and he walked up to me and asked me to go play with him on the swings.

OoOoOo

(Flashback)

Tears were streaming down my face. Why couldn't I have good parents like all the other kids? Suddenly a boy walked over to me. I wiped my tears away fast before he saw, but I guess it was too late for that.

"Hewo! Why aw you cwying?" He asked me. The boy had reddish hair and green-grey eyes. He looked real young, too.

"It's nothing." I replied quietly.

"But you aw cwying! When youw sad you cwy! Please down't bwe sad." He then sat down next to me.

"I'm Pwonyboy! What's youw name?"

"M-my names Johnny…" I said hesitantly.

"Well hi dew Johnny! I'm twee!"he exclaimed as he held up 3 fingers. "How old are you?"

"I'm 5." I didn't know why I was talking to him, but he seemed different than most kids. He was very kind to me.

"Ooooh! Gwess what Johnny! My bwover Sodapop is 5 too!" He then started jumping around happily. His smile was contagious, I couldn't help but smile too.

"Wanna pway on the swings wif me Johnny?" He then asked with a big smile on his face.

"Yeah! I-I mean yeah. Sure, Pony."

Ever since that day, we've been inseparable.

OoOoOo

(End of flashback)

I knew that pony was hurting and it broke my heart. But what could I do? I'm stuck here in this dark place floating to seemingly nowhere.

I could hear people talking but I couldn't make out who's voices they were. I knew pony wasn't there because I still felt empty. I knew for a fact Dally was there, which made me feel real good to know he cared about me as much as I cared about him, but I had a bad feeling that they were all hiding something for me.

Not like they would tell me anything, I doubt they know I can hear them, and why would you talk to a person who is in a coma like they are awake? I don't know… but I would really like if they had.

I couldn't stop thinking about Ponyboy though. I know he's suffering, I know he's breaking, but I don't know why…

I really need to talk to him now. But I need to stop thinking about him right now. Every time I get stressed out my heart rate goes up, which in my condition at the moment apparently could be deadly.

He's probably fine anyways. I'm probably wrong, he's doing fine. Probably at home reading or something like that.

Yeah.

Reading.

OoOoOo

(3rd person POV)

The gang had went to go visit Johnny earlier that day. They thought that visiting Johnny, they could take their minds off of ponyboy. They didn't want to go near him because doing so made them feel like absolute shit. They didn't wanna suffer the consequences of what they've done. They were terrified of doing so.

Visiting Johnny only made them feel worse. Seeing him in a Coma was horrible. He was so innocent, he didn't deserve this.

But ponyboy was also innocent, yet they gave him hell.

They couldn't stand being at the hospital either, so they were walking aimlessly down the streets for hours and hours. They eventually decided to head back home when it was midday, and check on pony to see if he was ok.

You know, without Letting pony know they cared.

Once they arrived at the house, it was completely quiet. Not a sound was heard. It was so quiet in fact that the slightest whisper sounded like a scream.

It was, odd.

The Curtis house was never quiet, ever. It was usually so loud you could hear the radio 2 blocks away.

They all just figured ponyboy had fallen asleep again. But I'm actuality, he was sitting in his bed staring at his wall. He has been sitting and staring at the wall for the hours. He wasn't thinking. He was just staring into seemingly nothing.

He was too scared to sleep, too sad to talk, too too hurt to move, and too guilty to think. He was doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.

The gang soon turned on the TV and the radio, turning them up full volume, which scared Pony. He was scared of everything now. He was scared of everyone. He jumped at the sounds which hurt his leg real badly, which led to a yelp escaping his mouth which hurt his jaw. No matter what he did he was in pain, whether physically or mentally, he was in pain.

Soda eventually had enough of sitting around and decided to check on ponyboy. He thought he was asleep.

He quietly walked over to the door and opened it slowly, attempting not to 'wake' ponyboy up.

Slowly he peaked his head in, and he saw ponyboy sitting up staring at him with an intense glare. It wasn't an angry glare, it was more of a frightened one. Still, it was enough to make anyone feel uneasy.

"H-hey pony…" soda began.

"…"

"Ok, well I came here to talk to you…" soda said softly as he entered Pony's room completely.

"…" Pony's eyes never left soda for one second, not even to blink. But the fear in his eyes did seem to increase.

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry Pony… I'm sorry for how I've treated you, I'm sorry for how I ignored you and I'm sorry for making you feel like this…" soda then took a deep breathe. "Please forgive me Pony… I'm truly sorry for everything I've done."

"…"

"Pony…?"

"…..y-you can-cannot lie." Pony mumbled.

"W-what?"

"YOU CANNOT LIE. THEY TELL ME YOU'RE LYING."

"Who's they!?" Soda asked, slightly frightened.

"My new friends. They introduced themselves to me today. A few minutes ago. They are real nice."

"Ponyboy what are you talking about…?" Soda started to back away towards the door.

"My friends don't lie, Soda. They say you're not sorry, I-I cannot believe you. You were real mean to me. I can only take so much. The real soda wouldn't do this."

"Ponyboy.. that's why I came to apologize! Because I'm so-"

"YOU ARE NOT SODA! SODA WOULD HAVE BEEN THERE FOR ME! SODA LOVES ME! YOU DON'T LOVE ME." Pony yelled.

"I do love you pony! You mean the world to me!"

"STOP LYING. STOP LYING!" Ponyboy cried.

"I'm not lying!" Sodapop tried to get pony to listen but he kept yelling for him to stop lying.

"YEAH YOU ARE! I WANT SODA!" Ponyboy was crying even louder than before.

"I am Soda, Pony!"

"NO! STOP LYING! STOP LYING!" Pony then began to cover his ears. "STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!" He screamed. "I CAN'T TAKE IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT! GET OUT!" He then looked up at soda. "GET OUT! NOW!"

"NO! Pony you need me!" Sodas voice broke at the end.

"NO! YOU BROKE ME. YOU CANT FIX THIS WITH GLUE, "SODA"! YOU BROKE ME!" Ponyboy screamed at the top of his lungs. "NOW GET OUT! LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"PONYBOY! I-"

"GET OUT!" Ponyboy sobbed. "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT, NOW!"

"No! PONY-"

"AUGHHHHHHH! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY ROOM AND LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" Ponyboy yelled. "LEAVE ME ALONE!"

"Fine, you know what you little brat have it your way. I don't wanna help you anyways. Go ahead and suffer. See if I care. See if anyone cares, cause they don't!" Soda yelled before exiting Pony's room, slamming the door behind him. He then proceeded to walk to him own room, slamming that door as he entered also.

The gang stared in shock at what had just happened. Darry didn't even try to interfere with what just went down between the two brothers. He didn't want to make things worse than they were.

"You were right all along guys. You are my only friends." Ponyboy said.

 _We told you, you could trust us Pony, we will help you make things right._

"Ok." Ponyboy replied. And I'm the first time in a while, he smiled.

OoOoOo

(Johnny's POV)

The bad feeling I had keeps getting worse. I know something is wrong. I also need to hurry up and wake up, but I don't know how.

This isn't like the movies where you get to choose to wake up or die, it's just black. Dark.

Darkness is everywhere and it's starting to drive me a little nuts. I need to know what's going on.

I try not to think about pony, because if I do it gets me worried and that also isn't a good thing in my weak state right now. He's like the twin brother I never had. We knew when something was wrong with each other. He knew when I was sad, I knew when he was. And right now I cannot help but think, what made him do upset. I need to wake up soon or I might just kill myself on accident by getting myself so worked up.

OoOoOo

(Soda's POV)

"Fine, you know what you little brat have it your way. I don't wanna help you anyways. Go ahead and suffer. See if I care. See if anyone cares, cause they don't!" I yelled. I was more than angry. He never lets me help him. I was just trying to be nice, but no. He doesn't need me. I'm "lying" and his "new friends" are the ones he can trust.

Delusional.

There was literally nobody there. I knew he was going crazy, but not insane. I don't know what happened to him but I don't like it. All the sympathy I had for him is now gone. All I tried to do was give him someone to talk to.

I mean yeah I made a mistake, but you should forgive people.

Whatever, I'm not going to stress over this. He doesn't want my time, he doesn't get any. He can stay alone with nobody, for all I care he can stay locked up in his room for as long as he wants. I'm not giving him food. He can get it himself.

You ruined your shot ponyboy, you're not the brother I loved. You're a killer. Hope you like what you've done.

OoOoOo

(Dally's POV)

Wow. Well I guess we're not ganna tell him we're sorry anymore. Kids always so ungrateful For everything. All soda tried to do was talk things over, not that I'm surprised. Kids got an attitude that can turn anyone off. Always been a mouthy brat.

I was ganna tell the kid I was sorry for how I was treatin' 'im, but since he wants to be that way, fine. Suffer ponyboy. See if we care.

OoOoOo

(Steve's POV)

God all mighty. Never thought I'd see the day when pony actually doesn't wanna be around Soda. It's about time for it too. Hah, kid gotten real mouthy now. By the looks on everyone's faces, well excluding Darry's, nobody wants to lay off 'im anymore. You don't treat your brothers like that. You don't hurt anyone in the gang like that.

You really fucked up this time ponyboy, use your damn head.

OoOoOo

(Twobit's POV)

Glooory! I've never heard the kid scream like that. But I could tell it wasn't anger. More or distress and hurt if you listened REEEEAL close. Pony and I were closer than the rest of the guys here so I could tell what he was feeling more. He wasn't angry. He was lost. I knew he was.

The rest of the guys looked like they wanted to kill the kid for hollerin' at soda like that. Guess I must've looked similar. But honestly I wasn't mad at the kid. I knew this would happen sooner or later. I just wish the kid would listen though, he just wanted to help.

OoOoOo

(Darry's POV)

Pony wasn't mad. I knew he wasn't.

I wasn't mad at pony, how could I be?

I don't get why the rest of them were so mad, cant they see, he's sad. He's lonely and guilty.

And it's all our faults.

I didn't say anything though because I didn't want to make matters worse. Maybe giving them both a little time would help solve things. Hopefully it will. This whole thing is pulling at my heart strings and I don't know what to feel at the moment. I just want this all to get better.

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 **HOPE U ENJOYEDDDDD I LOVE U ALLLLLLL! Please review! Byeeeee**

 **(Don't be that one person who corrects spelling on the comments.) LOVE Y'ALL SO MUCH**


	7. Chapter 7: I love you too, Darry

HEEEEEEYYYY! IM BACKKK! I know you probs don't care about me, only the story but. Just wanted to make sure u know I'm not dead. Sorry for the long wait. Love u guys! Hope u enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS

I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO THANK THE NIGHT NINJA FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS CHAPTERR. LOVE U!

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OoOoOo

(Pony's POV)

2 days later

 _Don't eat Pony, you'll get fat._

But I am hungry..

 _What's the point in eating If you're going to leave soon_

I'm starving, I don't want to die like this.

 _ **You'll get fat**_

I don't care I'm hungry.

My friends have been helping me a lot lately. They kept me busy. Whenever I missed my brothers it the gang they replayed images of the bad things they did to me. They kept me from being heartbroken again. They are the best friends I've ever had.

But I haven't eaten in 4 days now, and it's really getting to me. I don't want to die from starvation. That would make my death seem like an accident and it was too long and painful.

My jaw and leg were killing me. They got worse as the days went on. But I needed to get food. I didn't care if anyone was home or if they saw me. I needed to eat.

Slowly crawling out of my bed, I stumbled forward running into the door this falling onto the floor with a resounding crack from my arm.

"Great." I thought. I didn't care how many bones I've broken, I was hungry and I needed food. I could feel myself getting weaker by the minute.

Again, I tried to stand up. Successfully this time. As I stepped out into the hallway leading up to the kitchen I realized how painful this would be. Every step I took felt as if I were crushed by a 10000 pound weight. It was unbearable.

As I was limping, I did not realize that Darry was standing in the living room watching me. His eyes full of sadness and despair. Full of hurt.

Once I made it to the kitchen I collapsed to the ground with an agonizing scream. I couldn't take this pain anymore. It was driving me insane.

 _Soon, pony. Soon it will all go away._

I know.

 _Don't eat, pony. You'll get fat._

Not like I can anyways! My jaw is broken. I am hungry though and I don't want to die this way!

 _ **Don't eat, pony. You'll get fat.**_

Please shut up!

 _ **Don't eat, pony you'll get fat.**_

I CANT!

 ** _Don't eat, po-_**

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!" I screamed. I couldn't take these hunger pains anymore, but since I couldn't eat I just grabbed a warm Pepsi from the ground. It hurt to much to stand up.

After drinking all the contents, I began to silently cry. I cannot take this pain anymore. I couldn't take it in the first place.

 _Soon, very soon ponyboy._

"Soon isn't soon enough…" I whispered as I drifted to sleep on the kitchen floor.

OoOoOo

(3rd person POV)

Darry began to get worried, as he heard no sound coming from the kitchen.

"P-Ponyboy…?" He said quietly, but loud enough so that if someone was in the kitchen they could hear.

"Pony…" He tried again. Nothing. He was getting worried now. He slowly walked to the kitchen, being careful not to step in anything that would make noise.

Once he saw Pony he freaked out. He ran over to him and put a hand on his chest to see if he was breathing. Slowly he let out a sigh of relief, but he couldn't help but notice how weird his ribs felt and how easy they were to feel. He lifted up his shirt and saw how skinny he was getting and gasped.

"Oh Pone…. Baby I promise this'll get better. Just hang on for me ok?" He whispered in his sleeping brothers ear.

Slowly he lifted up pony and brought him back to his bed room.

He got pony an ice pack for his leg, which he could see was swelling an awful lot. He also brought in a bottle of water and 3 aspirins and set it on Ponyboy's desk. Darry hated seeing his brother suffer like this, and he couldn't believe how the gang was treating him.

"I love you Ponyboy…" Darry said before kissing him on the forehead and leaving.

"I love you too, Darry…" Pony said drowsily.

Pony heard everything Darry had said, and saw what he did for him. Too bad his mind was in a state where he still felt empty.

OoOoOo

Later that afternoon, Soda and Twobit were hanging out together just the two of them. They rarely hung out by themselves but it was nice when it happened.

"Hey Soda, I know right now this is a sensitive topic right now but… hows Pone doin'?" Twobit questioned.

Sodas smile was instantly wiped off of his face. He turned and stared at Twobit dead in the eyes and said, "Pony is not my concern. Don't you ever bring him up again. I don't care about that piece of shit and I'm sick and tired of his attitude."

"Ya know, Soda. I thought you were a real good guy. But right now you're being an asshole! Your brothers going through a dark time right now and you're mad that he went off on you. He went off on you because it's OUR fault he's like this. We broke him, Soda. YOU, broke him Soda. This is all our faults and you decide you hate the kid cause of a mistake he made? What kind of brother are you?" Twobit retaliated.

Soda slapped Twobit across the face for his last comment. He was livid with him.

"Hit me all you want Soda, but you know it's true!" Twobit yelled in Sodas face. Soon after he ran off, leaving Soda wide eyed and incredibly sorry.

"What have I done…?"

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HEEEEY. OK I KNOW THIS CHAPTER US SHORT BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT ITS OVER 1,000 WORDS LIKE I PROMISED. ANYWAYS LOVE U GUYS! BYEEEEE!


	8. Chapter 8: Last time

Chapter 8: Last time

HEEEEY MY DEAR CHILDREN. YOUR GRILL IS BAQ. I mean it hasn't even been a week so, whatever. But since I was stupid and got into a situation where I was forced to type this and then post today, I am. Thanks night ninja. Ugh. Anywayssssss Lets get on with the story.

DISCLAIMER: IM NOT RICH SO OBVIOUSLY I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS.

Don't forget to not die! Enjoy the storyyyyy

OK LET ME JUST SAY I TRIED TO EDIT THIS AND BOLD AND AND ITALICS TO THIS BUT IT ISNT WORKING SO UR GANNA HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT ILL FIX IT LATER. NOW ENJOY.

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OoOoOo

(2 days later) (Pony's POV)

These past 2 days have been absolute hell for me. Actually, worse than hell. I don't even know what to call it. I am sick of being here surrounded by people who I love but they don't love me back. Well, besides Darry I don't see anyone else even remotely liking me. I've tried to hard to not crack, but a person can only take so much.

Hm, I wonder if Dally would crack… doubt it.

I wish I could be tough like Dally. Then I could stay strong through this, and maybe even work up the courage to tell the gang that what they are doing is TEARING ME APART FROM THE INSIDE OUT.

Actually considering on how awful I look ok the outside that's doubtful.

The mirror in my room is right across from my bed, so it's not very hard to see myself. It faces right at me.

My face had cuts all over and was pale and bruised horribly on my cheek, forehead, and jaw. My jaw looked dislocated and just messed up in general. My arms were thin, oh so thin. All the muscle that was on it is gone now. One of my arms looked like they were broken. I remember when I heard it crack. I cringe every time. My stomach was sunken in, not a lot but it was noticeably was too thin. Bruises covered it. My ribs, broken. You could even see some of the broken ones poking at my skin from underneath. It was a very disturbing sight. Not like I cared though. I'm just pointing out the obvious. The worst was my leg. It was turned to the side and bent the wrong direction. It was incredibly huge in size from swelling. It also had cuts on it, which were all covered in dried blood. It was turning purple and green which didn't look to nice. Darry even tried to help get the swelling down, but it didn't work. He knew that if he took me to the hospital that the social services would take me away so he is just waiting it out to see if it'll go down soon.

Won't be enough time to make it go down anyways.

I've got, I-I've got a a plan. And it's almost time to put it into action.

I can't wait for all this pain to go away. And I can't wait to see mom and Dad again. No more tears, no more pain. But there will be peace.

Peace at last.

If only.

OoOoOo

(Johnny's POV)

Oh god, Oh god, Oh god…

Ponyboy, Pony, Oh god Pony.

He's ganna do something stupid. Very stupid.

God damn it Pony! What the hell is wrong!?

I need to get out of here.

NOW.

But there's nowhere to go…

I'm stuck, what, SLEEPING?!

I cant help my fucking friend who is about to do something damn stupid because I can't wake up from SLEEPING!?

This is ridiculous!

You need to hold on Pony, just hang on a little longer.

OoOoOo

(3rd person)

Darry had taken a few days off work to look after Pony. Dally and Steve were still livid with Pony and decided not to come over for a while. Darry didn't mind though, they were really getting on his nerves. He didn't understand how anyone could be so mad over a mistake.

It wasn't even Pony's fault.

"Wait, why was the IV even hanging that low?" Darry thought.

"That means this whole thing could have been prevented!" Darry was very upset. This was the hospitals damn fault. Not Pony's. He could actually sue the hospital for bring so careless.

"Fuck!" Darry yelled. If only he had realized sooner before he hurt pony. He broke his heart, and now he won't even say a word to him. Pony hasn't talked in the past few days. He has though been staring at nothing nodding his head from time to time. Sometimes Sodapop came home and saw Pony like this. Darry didn't think Soda understood because Soda would always make faces when he saw it. Almost like he was disgusted.

OoOoOo

(Soda's POV)

I walked into my house and decided to just relax on the couch when my brain started thinking about the past few days.

For the past 2 days, I have felt really bad about what I said about Pony. I also felt bad about hitting Twobit. He hasn't been seen by any of the gang since it happened. I don't know what's happened to me in the past week, but what I know is that I've changed for the worst.

I want to make things right with everyone, but I don't know how. The damage had already been done. Hopefully this whole thing blows over because I really can't stand to see the gang falling apart like this.

Steve and Dally hate Pony. Pony isn't talking to anyone and is isolating himself. Pony thinks I hate him. Johnny's in a coma. Darry, wait… what is Darry even doing? I have no clue. And Twobit is missing to god knows where.

I can't help but feel like this is all my fault. I decided to leave Pony at the hospital when he was hurt, I pushed him away. I decided to ignore Pony. I hit Twobit. I allowed everything bad that's happened to happen. I need to make things right and fast.

The gang depends on it.

Maybe tomorrow I can get the gang together to discuss this.

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

But first I gatta find Twobit.

What a great ass day it's been.

OoOoOo

(Ponyboy's POV)

My leg is aching horribly. It hurts so bad in fact that the stupid Advil Darry keeps giving me doesn't even work. I took like 8 pills earlier and it didn't help at all. They are absolute shit.

 ** _Well maybe find new medicine Pony…_**

Like what?

 _ **Your dad had some Oxycodone in the bathroom… it's real powerful Pony…**_

Never heard of it. Is it dangerous?

 ** _Not at all… you can take as much as you want and nothing bad would ever happen…_**

But if you take to much of any medicine it will end in an…

Then a thought came to my mind.

Overdose.

That could be my solution to the pain! I could finally feel better! Away from all this pain… the pain was unbearable and I just want it to go away. Not just physical, but emotional too.

You know that's a great idea!

Do it Ponyboy…. Kill yourself now. It'll be quick. Just take the medicine from the bathroom…

Ok, I trust you. I will. But not now. Darry and Soda are home.

Soon…very soon Ponyboy….. very soon…


	9. Chapter 9: Too Far Gone pt1

WHAT. IS. GOOD. EVERYBOOOODYYYYYY. IM BAQQQ. YEAH UM. UH. I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT TO SAY. ACCEPT… ENJOOOOY THE CHAPTERRRRR.

THAT IS A DEMAND.

Jk….this is stupid don't even read that. Well I guess u already did if you are reading this…u know what whatever. Let's get into this.

WAITTTT! I FORGOT TO SAY. ITS THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, SKOOOOOL. (I know I English gud) I WILL NOT BE UPDATING OFTEN BECAUSE OF IT. Not in high school yet so I won't be that busy but I will still be busy on homework and after school activities so less time to write. I'm sorry.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN THE OUTSIDERS. ?ￂﾠ

PLEASE REVIEW!

Chapter 9: Too Far Gone pt.1

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OoOoOo

(The next day, 6 A.M.) (Pony's POV)

I couldn't sleep.

Today was the day…..the day to finally be relieved from the painful reality my life has become. My mind was racing. Should I really do this?

Is this really want I want?

It is…..

I know I want to do this. Scratch that, I NEED too do this. It's the only way to make things right. I can also go apologize to Johnny once it's over with. I wanted more than anything to receive Johnny's forgiveness. I really didn't mean to kill him. I-I really didn't….

But what about Darry….? Darry would be devastated if something like this ever happened. I know he would. He's been real caring towards me lately. Part of me doesn't want to do this because of Darry, I don't want him to feel pain because of me. But another part of me is saying I should, less mouths to feed less work that needs to be done. He could relax. Finally gave his well earned break.

There's a voice in the back of my head telling me this is a shitty idea, and I really shouldn't be doing this. But there isn't another option. I have nothing to live for. My parents are gone, I don't have the gang, and I can't go to school. Hah, nothing else really to care for. I don't even have my best buddy anymore. I guess when he left, he took a part of me with him.

Suddenly my thoughts were interrupted by the phone ringing.

OoOoOo

(3rd person POV)

Ring

The phone suddenly rung out of nowhere. Darry and Soda woke up with a start and both headed towards the phone.

"I got it Pepsi." Darry said in a soft voice, holding up his hand so Sodapop would back away.

"Hello?"

"Uh, is this Darrel Curtis?"

"Yes, it is. May I ask who I a speaking to?"

"This is Tulsa Hospital, I've called about Johnathan Cade?"

"Umhm."

"Well it seems that he has woken up an hour ago and is asking for a, Pony-boy… that's your brother I suppose."

"Yes, it is. He's asleep right now. I will bring him over later today, he isn't feeling well."

"Ok, Darrel. Anyways we've checked Johnathan over and his vitals are amazingly good. He seems to be in perfect condition. He might be able to leave in a few weeks. We have to do a little observation first though before any release."

"Alright, thank you. We will be over there at 7:30."

"No problem, sir."

Beep

"What was it, Darry? Did something happen?" Soda asked with worry wavering in his voice.

"Yeah something happened. Johnny woke up!" Darry smiled a genuine smile. He decided to leave out the part where he was asking for pony.

"That's great!" Soda beamed.

"Call Steve and tell him to round up the gang and meet us at the hospital. Tell 'me the good news."

"Alright Darry."

And with that the morning had begun. Darry had started making breakfast as Soda showered and got dressed. They were both rushing because they knew the gang would be there any second.

After Darry finished breakfast he hopped into the shower while Soda was still doing his hair in the mirror.

Suddenly the door slammed open.

"Hey Curtis's!" Twobit yelled from the living room.

"Hey…Twobit!? Where have you been!?" Soda questioned as he walk out of the bathroom.

"I got drunk, I don't 'member Soda." Twobit stated. 'Bucks?' Soda thought to himself.

"Anyways where's the others I wanna hurry up and see Johnny."

"They aren't here yet Twobit. It's only been like 30 minutes and it's 6:30 in the morning. We got 45 minutes till we gatta start drivin', we'll be on time." Soda retorted.

The T.V. soon was on and blasting Mickey Mouse, as usual, and the radio turned up all the way.

The door opened with a bang, once again as Dally and Steve marched in.

"Ok hurry up let's go." Dally huffed.

"Once again, it's 6:45 in the MORNING. We get there at 7:30. We have 30 minutes to spare. Plus Darry's getting dressed." Sodapop rolled his eyes annoyed. Dally flipped him off and went to go sit down by Twobit, Steve following behind.

"Get your food and hurry up, we're leaving soon." Darry said approaching from the bathroom. "I'm ganna call into work and tell them I won't be there today."

Everyone scattered and took food from the table and a slice of cake from the freezer. They pretty much inhaled it because they finished everything in 'seconds'.

"O-tay ow an we oh?" Twobit asked with a mouth full of cake.

"What..?" Darry asked with the most puzzled look on his face ever.

Suddenly they heard little drops on the roof and window.

"Great, it's raining." Steve complained.

"It's not poison, suck it up." Dally groaned.

"We got 15 minutes to spare, and we are probably ganna be there all day. So just chill."

"Why can't we just go now?"

"We have 15 minutes what do you not understand."

"But nobody's doing anything!"

"We. Have. 15. Fucking. Minutes. Shut up Twobutt."

"But-"

"Shut the hell up, SIT DOWN, AND WATCH FUCKING MICKEY MOUSE ON THE FUCKING TV FOR 15. FUCKING. MINUTES."

Everyone just stared. Soda had never had an outburst like that, ever.

"I-I'm sorry Twobit." Soda apologized covering his face. "I'm just really stressed."

Twobit said nothing and just sat down on the couch picking at his nails.

"Uh, *cough* maybe we should uh, go…." Darry said as he picked up his car keys.

"I'll just go in my car." Twobit spoke up.

" M'kay…" Darry shared a questionable look with Steve as Twobit walked out the door.

"What's up with him?" Dally asked as if nothing had just happened.

Everyone just looked at him as if he lost his mind.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Yes I'm jo- no ass hat. Why the fuck would I ask a question if I already knew the answer." Dallas asked, his voice getting slightly louder.

"You know what, fuck this. Let's go." Steve concluded shaking his head as he walked to Darry's truck.

"What a fucking day this is turning out to be…" Darry mumbled.

OoOoOo

"Ugh Darrryyyyyy I'm bored. If Johnny's been awake for over an hour why won't they let us see him?" Soda whined. He didn't have much patience.

"Just wait Soda. I know it's hard but wait." Darry rolled his eyes.

"I'm just saying, we told them we would be here by 7:30 and now it's 8. You think somethings wrong?"

"Nah little buddy, probably just looking over him."

"Sure."

Twobit sat across from the gang in the waiting room, never once looking up.

"Twobit, what are you doing…?" Dally questioned as he lit up a coffin nail.

"What do you mean, I'm just sitting." Twobit replied, still staring at the ground.

"You know what I fucking mean you shit."

"No I don't, Dally." Twobit said sharply.

"Look. I don't know what the fuck happened but you better straighten up your act when we go to see Johnny." Dallas growled.

Twobit just simply stood up and went to a different part of the waiting room.

"Did I really make him that mad?" Soda asked.

"I suppose, but that's not like Twobit." Darry mumbled.

"Family of Johnathan Cade?"

Everyone except Twobit got up.

"Hello." The doctor greeted.

"H-hi… hows Johnny?" Soda asked.

"He's doing well, accept at the moment he's a little panicked about something. Maybe you guys could help calm him down. He might be confused and scared, so familiar faces might help. Please, follow me."

"WHERE'S PONYBOY! I NEED TO SEE HIM!"

The gang heard someone scream. No doubt it was Johnny.

"Son, Ponyboy is sick! His brothers called and told me he can't come!"

"Don't call me son! I am not your damn son now where's Ponyboy!" Johnny screamed.

The gang stood shocked in the doorway. Johnny had tears streaming down his face and his eyes were bloodshot 'n red. He had bags under his eyes and he was slightly shaking. He was scared, mad, and depressed. You could see it.

"Johnny, what's wrong?" Soda asked, approaching the bed.

"Ponyboy! Oh god, oh god…." Johnny kept repeating.

"What? Ponyboy? What about him….?" Steve asked slowly.

"He's stupid. He's ganna do something stupid! He's not using his head! DARRY!" Johnny sobbed.

Darry didn't know what to do. Why would Johnny just call out his name and why in earth was he acting like this?

"Johnny, are you…do you…what…?" Darry mumbled under his breath.

Everyone was confused beyond belief.

"Johnny…what's re you talking about?" Darry asked.

"He's being stupid! What happened! I need to see him! He's sinking!" Johnny choked out.

"He's what…?" Everyone asked with confusion.

"WHAT ARE YOU FUCKING DOING!? GET ME OUT OF HERE! WE NEED TO HELP HIM HE'S GANNA DO SOMETHING STUPID!" Johnny screamed sobbing harshly.

"We're ganna need you to calm down Johnathan." The doctor said walking over to try and comfort him. Johnny just snapped his arm away.

"No, NO! LET ME OUT! I NEED TO HELP PONYBOY. HE'S NOT THINKING. HE NEEDS ME. I NEED HIM NOW!" Johnny screamed. Nobody has ever seen Johnny act like this before. Dally didn't think he could stay in that room another second, afraid to face his emotions. So he stormed out. Steve stared at him, pure shock in his features. Soda backed away from the bed a little, not know what was going on. Darry just kept looking at Johnny and the doctor, eyes wide in shock.

"Johnathan you need to calm down! This isn't healthy for you and your recovery!" The doctor tried one more time.

Johnny kept screaming. Nobody knew what the hell he was talking about. The nurse then walked up to the bed and pressed the help button. The nurses heard the screaming and knew what to get.

"Johnny, we are going to make you calm down honey." The doctor said calmly to the screaming boy.

"BUT, NOBODY'S LISTENING. HE'S GOING TO FUCKING DIE! HE'S GANNA KILL HIMSELF!" Johnny screamed. Right after he said that. A nurse came in and gave him a shot. Soon after Johnny calmed down and was knocked out in seconds.

"…."

"…."

"…."

"…."

There was silence for a while. Until..

"…..WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED!?" Twobit said as he approached from the hallways with wide eyes.

"I don't know…. But somethings not right. Guys we are going to my place, now." Darry demanded. Nobody hesitated. Everyone ran to the cars the arrived in and drove home as fast as possible.

OoOoOo

(Pony's POV)

I swore it was too early to get up when I heard a bunch of footsteps in the living room and kitchen. The smell of food hit my nose and the shower hummed.

'Why is everyone up so early?'

I had no idea. My friends told me it's because they wanna hurry up and leave, they hate being near me. Not like they were ganna be by me for much longer anyways.

Sighing, I pushed myself to a sitting position. I was so glad that I would finally not have to deal with this body aching much longer.

Soon I heard the tv blast and yelling. It was annoying.

I was getting restless. I couldn't stay in one spot much longer. But thankfully everything went quiet and the front door opened. This was my chance.

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It's 2,000 words. Omg. It's bad. I didn't read it over twice, cause idc. But. HOPE U ENJOYEDDDDD. LIVE YOU GUYS SOOO MUCHHH.


	10. Chapter 10: Too Far gone pt2

**HEY EVERYONE! ARE YOU RED-E FOR THE LAST CHAPTER OF MISTAAAAKESSSSSSS!? Yeah me too. Anyways…I REALLY HOPE U LIKED THE STORY AND IF U DID, PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW AND I LOVE U ALL FOREVER AND ALWAYS!**

 **Check out my other stories if you liked this one! Love ya! 3 ;)**

 **DISCLAIMER: I. DO. NOT. OWN. THE OUTSIDERS.**

 **Also, don't ever drink out of a water bottle while laying down….you'll regret it. Anyways, ENJOY THE CHAPTER!**

 **some OH ALSO! Any idea for new stories? Dm me ideas!**

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OoOoOo

(Pony's POV)

They are gone.

It's now or never.

I stood up for the last time, and looked around my room. Never again will I see it.

I limp towards the kitchen, for the last time. I remember when I would always help out Mom. I remember baking cookies on Christmas to give to Santa, I remember making my first chocolate cake. I remember Dad showing me how make a turkey on thanksgiving. Now, maybe they can show me more….

"I'm sorry…" I whispered.

The pain in my leg was getting worse the longer I stood.

But I didn't care.

I went towards the living room next. I had so many memories there. I remember how the gang always played poker at the table. I remember how the radio and tv were always blasting at full volume, while everyone was just relaxing. I remember the first time I got a trophy, Mom and Dad put it on the mantle. There are so many pictures in this room, all of the gang and my family. We are all together and happy. Oh how I wish it could be like that, maybe in a long while. I remember when I was happy…

I remember when I came in this room laughing loudly. I remember the time when I wasn't ever scared to walk in this room. I remember when I would sit and read on the couch.

But never again will that happen.

I then limped to Sodas room.

It was messy, to say the least. But it was his. That's all I wanted.

I looked around, slowly observing things. There were still many pictures of Darry, Soda and I on the wall in there. On the desk there was a framed picture of the gang. He always kept his favorite pictures he took in his room. I hated how soda had been treating me, but it's for the best I guess. At least now I know Im a waste of space.

I had to say one more goodbye to him, so I limped into the room and scribbled something on a random piece of paper. It read,

'Even if you don't love me, I'll always love you Soda.

I'll miss you.

-Ponyboy'

I wasn't lying. I was ganna miss Soda, he's the person I love the most in this whole wide world. It hurt to know he didn't want me around but, at least leaving will make him happy.

I left his room and contemplated going into Darrys'. But I couldn't. Walking in there would only make me want to Change my mind. I didn't want to change my mind. I didn't want to feel this pain.

Some people say suicide is selfish, they say your just taking your pain and passing it to someone else. I guess they're right. But the person who feels the pain I'm feeling is strong enough. They would keep fighting. I'm just weak and useless. I'm giving up my fight. I always have been weak. So it's nothing new.

I started towards the bathroom. The last room I'd see. I inhaled long and deeply, and walked inside. I closed the door and locked it behind me.

I looked like shit in the mirror. I don't understand how I actually thought my looks were decent before. I look hideous. I always have, always will. There were tear streaks on my face and bags under my eyes. My clothes were noticeably getting too big for me and my skin was covered in bruises of purple, red, and brown. I'm glad I won't have to see this monster ever again.

I slowly walked over to the cabinet and opened it, taking out the pills. My eyes spotted a razor in the back of the cabinet too. I guess I could use it to speed up the process. It's time.

OoOoOo

(3rd person POV)

Darry raced down the street towards the house. It wasn't far, but after what Johnny had said about Pony, we didn't have much time left. We had to go fast. Twobits' hunk-of-junk was following us close behind.

"Darry, hurry!" Soda yelled in a panicked voice.

"I'm trying, I'm trying. Hold on soda." I replied in a calm, yet shaky voice.

* * *

Pony set the razor on the counter as he slowly opened up the bottle tears running down his face once again. Once it was open he dropped the lid down to the floor. He poured out one pill first and just stared at it, soon he put it in his mouth and swallowed.

Next he would pour out two.

* * *

"We're almost there!" Darry said in a noticeably less controlled voice. He was beginning to panic.

"Dar, calm down. Don't panic now." Steve said placing a hand on his shoulder.

Darry just nodded as a reply.

* * *

 _You're being a very good boy, Ponyboy._

Pony just smiled and poured out two pills. He quickly popped them into his mouth. He wanted this to be over as soon as possible.

 _How about slitting your wrists some, Ponyboy?_

"I-I guess." Pony choked out. He grabbed the razor and slowly slid it across his wrists with a lot of pressure to make it deep.

 _Good boy._

* * *

Once Darry pulled up he jumped out the car, along with everyone else.

Slamming the door open Darry yelled, "PONYBOY?!"

No answer.

Darry decided to go look through all the rooms, along with Soda. The others looked outside the house.

Once they got to the bathroom door they started banging.

"Ponyboy! Open this door now!" Darry's face started to pale at the thought of what he was doing.

"PONYBOY LET US IN, PLEASE." Soda cried.

* * *

 _ **Bang Bang**_

"Ponyboy! Open this door now!"

That got Pony out of his mini trans. He had make 5 long deep cuts by that time.

 _ **BANG BANG**_

"PONYBOY LET US IN, PLEASE!" Came a cry.

 _Soda_

"I'm sorry soda…" Pony whispered in a soft voice. He was already beginning to feel woozy. But he wasn't done. He took out three more pills and popped them into his mouth.

* * *

The gang heard us yelling from outside and ran back in. They heard the rattle of the pills in the bottle that Pony had.

 _ **BANG BANG**_

"Holy- PONYBOY OPEN THIS DOOR!" Darry screamed again, rapidly turning the knob and banging in the door.

"I c-can't!" Came a sob.

"Baby, yes you can. Just please open the door for us." Soda replied crying harshly already.

 _ **BANG BANG**_

"Darry we gatta break it down, now." Dally said in a slightly worried voice.

"Ok, lets do it."

* * *

"I c-can't!" Pony cried.

 _ **BANG BANG**_

He leaned against a wall and slid down tears streaming down his face. He was feeling a loss of breath and was shaking. His wrists stung and burned, and he could feel his body shutting down.

Still… he grabbed the pill bottle and took 4 more.

He was slowly starting to loose consciousness.

* * *

Dally and Darry began kicking and ramming into the door as hard as they could. Steve was just watching with wide eyes and Twobits eyes glazed over with tears, refusing to let them fall. Soda was sobbing against the wall.

Nobody knew what they would find in that bathroom. No noise came from it.

 _ **BOOM**_

The door broke down and they all rushed in.

Ponyboy was laying against the wall almost completely unconscious. His wrists cut and bloody while his body was slightly convulsing on the ground.

Nobody could help but notice the bruises all along his body and his skinny frame. His arm seemed to be at a wonky angle along with his leg. It was swollen the size of a balloon.

It's good that they couldn't see his mental wounds because that would of destroyed them all.

"Oh my god.." Steve gasped.

"P-Ponyboy…no….nononononono. PONYBOY GET UP!" Darry yelled as tears finally drizzled down his face.

"Ponyboy!" Soda cries as he ran and held Pony's head in his lap. "Nonono, baby this wasn't supposed to happen. You needa get up. PONYBOY!" Soda screamed moving his hair out of his face, sobs shaking his body.

"I'm ganna call 911." Dallas said sternly, his face blank and emotionless.

He doesn't know how to face emotions. He's already lost so many people in his life, he doesn't know if he can take another. Especially Ponyboy. Nobody really expected him to do this. They all thought he was just sad. Nothing more.

Twobit's smile was nowhere to be found. He just stared in horror at the scene in front of him. Steve couldn't move. He really did love the kid.

Screams and shouts were still coming from the bathroom. Until a small voice said,

"I-I'm sorry…"

followed by loud cries.

OoOoOo

(Pony's POV)

It was all starting to get dark. I think the last four pills did it. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion.

The door suddenly banged down to the floor. It would of said some smart ass comment like 'watch it you fucking prick!" Or something like that if I wasn't too weak to even move my head. Yet again, if I wasn't in this position I wouldn't want to say it anyway. Wouldn't be in the mood.

Everyone began to rush into the bathroom. I could make out their faces. It was getting too dark to really see anything.

"PONYBOY, HONEY SAY SOMETHING!" Someone screamed. It sounded like Sodapop.

 _You've been a really good boy..._

"PONY I'M SO, SO SORRY!" Someone else sobbed pulling me close to their chest.

 _No they're not, don't listen to them Ponyboy._

 **Ponyboy don't you hear them, they're sorry!**

"Baby please wake up! You can't do this!"

"Honey please open your eyes for us, we wanna see your beautiful green eyes."

All I heard was sobs and cries now. They were beginning to become muffled though. I couldn't tell what anyone was saying anymore. The only thing I could hear were the voices.

 _You did good, Ponyboy…_

 **Ponyboy! What are you doing! People care Pony, people care for you!**

 _Only a little bit of time left…_

 **No! Ponyboy you need to go back! You need to stay awake. Don't close your eyes!**

 _Close your eyes pony, there won't be anymore pain. No more suffering..._

 **Pony, you're making a mistake!**

 _You'll be able to see your parents again Ponyboy…_

 **Your parents wouldn't want you to do this Pony, Don't close your eyes!**

 _It's almost time Pony…_

 **You have a family!**

 _Just close your eyes…_

 **You have friends!**

 _No more pain…_

 **People LOVE you Ponyboy!**

Then I heard nothing. There was silence. I used the last bit of energy I had left in my body to say,

"I'm sorry."

* * *

 **THE END. HOPE YOU ENJOYED MY STORY! I LOVE YOU ALL TO THE MOON AND BACK! WANT MORE STORIES? LEAVE A SUGGESTION IN THE REVIEWS. BYE GUYS. Kisses 3**

 **-SuicidalPony1234**


	11. Sequel announcement

Want more of mistakes? Check out the sequel made by TheNightNinja on her page! It's coming out later this afternoon!

9-29-18

-SuicidalPony1234


	12. Alternate ending

Alternate ending.

All work presented below is from TheNightNinja. She also created the sequel. But let me clear something up first. The sequel is just an alternative ending to the original ending so it's a continuation, but really the ending isn't that. So here's the alternate to before that, if that makes any sense. So if you want a sad ending, end at the previous chapter. This has potential to end well.

Again all rights to this chapter belong to TheNightNinja

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Darry looked at his little brother's door, he knew something was wrong with his little brother and he knew that bringing him to Johnny would help but he wasn't sure if Pony was up for the trip. He decided to go with his gut and walked into his brother's room.

"Hey Pony, baby I have a surprise for you but you need to come with me and the guys" said Darry gently running his hand through Pony's hair, it hurt him to see his baby brother so frail and broken. Pony groaned softly.

"Common baby, lets get you into some clean clothes and then out to the car" soothed Darry gently pulling Pony into a sitting position. He got Pony dressed before carrying him into the living room, giving the others a glare that said 'say anything to him and I will kill you'. Soon they were all in the car, Two-Bit was driving because Darry needed to sit next to Pony, who kept talking to himself. Darry was really worried about his baby brother and didn't want to leave him next to Dallas and Steve.

"Pony, honey, we're almost there, do you think you'll be able to walk baby?" asked Darry softly. Pony nodded slightly. They all got out of the car, Pony couldn't walk well so Darry half carried him. Darry could tell that Pony was very very weak and needed help quick. Also the doctors could also see that Pony was in really bad shape. After a few words with the doctors Darry had arrange for Pony to be placed in the same room as Johnny before going to see him in a minute.

"Mr. Curtis, may I speak to you for a moment" said the doctor

"Of Course" said Darry following him out of the room

" Mr. Curtis your brother's Jaw is severely fractured and his leg is broken to the point where it might never heal and even if it did it wouldn't work the same ever again, we need to perform several operations on him, on to wire his jaw back together and another to amputate his leg. His arm is also broken quite badly and will require another surgery to fix, also there are quite a few of his injuries that are infected." said the Doctor. Darry paled.

"Now I understand that you have been in the process of filing to sue this hospital because your friend's IV was hanging low enough to trip over. I am prepared to make a deal with you, if you don't sue the hospital we won't inform the state about your brother's condition." said The Doctor

"You have my word sir" said Darry quickly.

"Good, now that that's settled, I am also Johnny's doctor and understand why you requested to have them in the same room, now under normal circumstances we would have notified his parents of his condition however, we looked at his medical file and a few other things and have found that in all circumstances of him requiring hospitalization and his primary doctor visits that it's been your family taking care of his medical needs and the school has noticed that there are days when he comes to school with significant bruising and conducted an investigation where they found they his parents are abusing him, due to the fact that your family is caring for him and providing him with the things his family should have, this hospital has decided to take legal action in ensuring that Johnathan Cade is placed into your custody" said the Doctor

"Thank you so much sir" said Darry sighing with relief, though now he could hear Johnny yelling for Pony. Darry went into the room to try to take care of the situation.

"Johnny, Pony will be here soon, they had to take him into surgery" said Darry

"Why? Asked Johnny, the venom in his voice making Two-Bit, Steve, Dally and Soda flinch

"He's hurt really bad, he'll need you now more than ever Johnny" said Darry

"Who Hurt him" asked Johnny menacingly. Dally sighed

"We did Johnny, I'm so sorry, it's just he tripped over your IV, he almost killed you and we sorta flipped out, we made him believe he killed you and we beat him up" said Dally

"How badly is he hurt?" asked Johnny, his voice calm but the anger in his eyes made Dally flinch

"His leg needs to be amputated, and his Jaw is badly broken, his arm will also never be the same and he is very sick from the infections" sighed Darry. Soda gasped, his baby brother would never be able to run track again or write or do anything he loved, and it was all their fault.

"So you mean to tell me, that my best friend is even more hurt than I am and that no it wasn't the socs who beat him to a pulp both physically and mentally like they did me, but his own friends and family" said Johnny slowly and menacingly

"Johnny, don't be mad at Darry though, he had nothing to do with this, he was trying to help Pony" said Steve. Johnny's gaze softened when he looked at the worried expression on Darry's face

"Johnny, the hospital is going to work things out with the state so that you are placed in my care, that way you can help Pony and I can take care of both of you" said Darry softly. Johnny sighed and turned to face the wall.

"Can all of you except Darry and Soda leave, please" asked Johnny, his voice soft but they could tell he was angry, scared and extremely worried about his best friend. The three of them sat in silence for what felt like forever but eventually the nurses placed Pony on the bed next to Johnny, he was still asleep from the anestesia.

"Pony!" gasped Johnny. Darry walked over to his baby brother's bed and stroked his hair

"Pony, honey, can you open those pretty green eyes for us? Johnny's here baby, Johnny's alive and he's really worried about you" said Darry gently. Johnny sat up in his bed and looked at his best friend

"Pony, I'm here, please wake up, i won't let anything else bad ever happen to you" said Johnny. Pony opened his eyes a little bit and groaned, he was sore all over, couldn't talk, could barely move and felt awful.

"Johnny?" he said in a soft, barely audible whisper because he couldn't move his mouth

"Yeah, I'm here Pony, Don't worry" said Johnny

"Go back to sleep baby, you need your rest" said Darry gently "In fact both of you need your rest"

"We'll be back tomorrow baby" said Soda running his hand through Pony's hair. They left and Johnny looked around to make sure no nurses were nearby. He got out of his bed and walked over to Pony's laying down next to his best friend and holding him close.

"I will never ever let anyone hurt you ever again" soothed Johnny. Both boys fell asleep, Pony's condition stabilizing to the point where the nurses decided that it was best to leave the boys like that. Pony awoke the next morning with Johnny's arms around him making him feel loved and safe and happy for once in a long time. Johnny was still sleeping so pony buried his face into Johnny's chest. Suddenly pony felt someone petting his hair, Johnny was asleep so pony thought it was Darry. But it was was actually Two Bit, who had realized just how much damage their actions had caused, pony could have died from his injuries, that they had caused him, and as it was Johnny would probably never speak to them again and pony wouldn't be even talking at all for a long time. Steve and Dally were no longer welcome at the Curtis house but because two bit had wanted to try and make things right earlier he was given a second chance, though he knew Johnny would never forgive him. The voices in Pony's head were gone now, replaced by Johnny's gentle voice telling him things were going to be ok e emotional connection between the two boys had grown stronger now that they were so close to each other and Pony's soul needed It's brother to protect it.

"Hey pony, your brothers had to work today so they asked me to come keep you company" said Two Bit gently, Johnny woke up at the sound of two bits voice and pony cuddled closer to Johnny for protection.

"you have some nerve coming here two bit, then again you always did have the Iq of a tomato, I can take of pony right now and he doesn't need one of the people who caused him all this pain to be here, you've done enough" growled Johnny. Two Bit was shocked, Johnny had never used that tone of voice

5h agotimid little Johnny was pissed off. Two Bit sighed, he didn't want to cause Pony anymore distress and get his heartrate up higher than it should be, the nurses would throw him out real quick.

"I'll tell Darry that it's best if he and Soda be the ones to visit" said Two-Bit, slightly heartbroken, but he knew it was his own fault. After Two-Bit left Johnny wrapped the blanket even tighter around Pony

"Don't worry Pony, I'm here, I'll take care of you now" soothed Johnny

"Please, tell me this isn't a dream" Pony whispered, his voice hardly even a whisper and no one but Johnny would have heard it over the machines.

"It's not a dream Pone, I'm really here, and everything is going to get better, I will protect you now and forever" soothed Johnny. Eventually both boys were allowed to go home but pony had to have his medicine injected into him because he still couldn't open his mouth. Johnny didn't trust anyone else to take care of pony, well except Darry but he preferred to be the main carer for Pony. one night Pony and Johnny were in bed, Pony was sore and wasn't looking forward to another doctors appointment tomorrow. There was one thing nagging Johnny though."Pony?" asked Johnny softly

"Mmm?" murmured Pony

" Pone, I know you had voices in your head, what were they telling you to do baby?" asked Johnny

"They were telling me to kill myself, I was going to that day Darry brought me to the hospital, if they had left me alone at home, I would have done it" whispered Pony, Johnny pulled Pony close to him

"Oh pony, I'm so so sorry I didn't wake up sooner. I could have stopped this from happening" said Johnny

"I'm sorry" whimpered pony

"shh,it's not your fault baby" soothed Johnny.

"Please, don't leave me again, I don't think I can take it" cried Pony

"I'm not going anywhere" soothed Johnny. Pony was crying again, his tears soaking Johnny's shirt.

"I'm going to kill Dally and Steve, and if there's time, two-Bit" hissed Johnny. Months passed and Pony slowly healed with the help of Johnny and his brothers. The rest of the gang still came over it had taken a while for Darry to forgive them but everyone still walked on eggshells around Pony, who had finally started going back to school. He was currently working on his homework, his right arm had been rendered immobile despite the bones healing, the doctors said that the infections had destroyed most of the nerves and muscle tissue, so Pony was using his left arm with great difficulty plus some help from Johnny. Steve, Dally and Two Bit had decided amongst themselves that since they practically lived at the Curtis house it would be a big help to Darry if they actually started paying rent. So now the bills were being paid on time and the house was kept clean enough for Pony's wheelchair, his dead arm wouldn't allow him to use crutches and prosthetic limbs were way outside their price range even with the extra money. Johnny getting a job was out of the question because Pony still needed quite a bit of care. One afternoon all the boys were lounging about the living room watching Mickey. Pony and Johnny were on the couch, Johnny's arm wrapped protectively around Pony. Pony was falling asleep, he still shied away from Dally and Steve though he was doing better with Two-Bit, he would laugh at some of Two-Bit's jokes but it still hurt to open his mouth. The gang was almost back together but they still had a long way to go before they earned Pony's and Johnny's trust back.


End file.
